Let’s face it, Santa Cruz could use a few laughs. (Several hundred thousand, actually.) Unemployment is up, jobs seem scarce and those million-dollar homes by the Bay don’t seem to be selling. (Sucks to be rich.) All this should make for great fodder when La Griffin (That’s Kathy for those of you who are too dense to know that the hell I’m talking about …) arrives at the Santa Cruz Civic in all her comedic splendor. Good news: After nabbing some Emmys and loads of national attention spawned by the success of her savage reality TV outing, My Life on the D-List, KG’s celebrity has soared. (I’m certain she’s risen to C-plus at this point. Well, maybe “Enhanced D.”) Doesn’t matter. Monday night’s show should be a hoot. (Be there bitches!) In the meantime, I probed the nether regions of my brain—not that easy, actually—and found three ways dear Kath can save Santa Cruz from its quirky funk of late.
It’s Halloween season and there’s nothing better than a blunt, sexy redhead (or quasi redhead) to scare the crap out of us. Here’s what The G needs to do: Beyond riffing on Paris and Ms. Seacrest, it wouldn’t hurt if she gave Santa Cruz a real reality enema. You know, like insist people bathe more, or chuck the ’80s jeans, or convince City Council to turn the El Palomar into a deluxe downtown hotel that will bring in tax dollars. The prospect of change will frighten the hell out of some politicos, but, oh, don’t they (we) need it?
2. PUBLIC CIRCUMCISIONS\
Fresh off her own public pap smear, I find this PC idea rather inviting and so un-PC. Especially if Griffin is holding the knife and Cruzans get to choose the lucky foreskins they want, well, “voted off.”
1. AN INTERVIEW WITH GTV
Try as we might, we couldn’t nab The K for an exclusive interview in GT—we would have put you on the cover, darling!—so, the only other option is this: Allowing Yours Truly to shove a mike in front of La Griffin upon her arrival at the very glorious Civic. Our GTv camera crew can film the entire incident. I expect to be slapped in the face and be called a sissy. Balls in your court, K. (Welcome to Surf City.)
Watch my coverage/red carpet interview last year with Kathy Griffin et al at the Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers at
INFO: Monday, October 18, 7 p.m. Santa Cruz Civic, 307 Church St., Santa Cruz. $39.50-$86.85. 420-5260 or Ticketmaster.com.