- Slip into a coma until Dec. 26. A risky option unless your entire extended family is hooked on ER.
- Give everybody on your gift list a subscription to National Geographic. Here there's significant risk of being embarrassingly redundant.
- Pay someone to shop for you. This is both costly and politically incorrect. Consult Dickens, Charles, A Christmas Carol (especially a character named Scrooge), for details.
- Bite the bullet, get into the spirit and go with the flow. Seek comfort in the realization that everybody is faced with the same challenges this time of year: to stay within budget (not bloody likely) and to come up with distinctive gifts that will impress the intended recipients. You also have a moral obligation to remain reasonably sane (an oxymoron we love) during the process.
Once again, it's the holiday grind.
But wait--don't leave the country!
Use our ideas for stress-free shoppingBy Marlow de Ville
Funny how fast it sneaks up--that frenzied time of year when the pressure to succeed is mounting faster than a caffeine-injected jockey. Sure, last year you swore that this year you wouldn't wait until the last minute to do your holiday shopping. But that was then. This is now. And the clock is ticking. You have several options.
So breathe deeply, upload some caffeine, take a day off work (there isn't enough Valium in the world to help if you try to shop on the weekend) and go for it. Remember, you're not alone. The truth is out there.
Family Ties
As always, your prime directive is to take care of those nearest and dearest on your holiday gift list. The rest is just details.
Dad--the Ultimate Challenge
Dad has been shopped for from hell and back. He's seen it all, and he's still not impressed. Stay focused--you can still explore those twilight regions of his special pet fetishes. Is Dad the active type? Replenish his supply of wool socks, of Gore-Tex outdoor gear, any rugged pullover by Nautica, or simply new sweats for the morning workout.
Is Dad a couch potato? You can't go wrong with a new Barcalounger so he can log video hours in comfort. And don't forget a universal remote control. The one we like best lets you change channels and program the VCR with an authentically styled Star Trek phaser ($39 from Sharper Image, of course).
If Dad is getting a bit dotty, he'll appreciate one of those voice-powered electronic organizers that stores phone numbers, appointments and verbal reminders. High-tech gadgets are always a good idea for the old man. Or, flatter your father's culinary skills by popping for a state-of-the-art gas grill and rotisserie from TouchLite ($995). Sure, he'll need a Ph.D. in physics to figure out how to program the temperature, but it'll provide hours of constructive amusement.
Sometimes, the obvious can be refreshing. Why not get him a tie? We suggest one of those colorful abstract silk designs by the late Deadmeister Jerry Garcia ($35).
Mom--the Easier Half
The beauty of Moms is that they are infinitely forgiving. They've seen it all, but they still love just about any gift you come up with. They adore being pampered.
For openers, aim for any full-service department store makeup area and pick up her favorite eau de cologne gorgeously gift-wrapped: Chanel, Calvin Klein's Eternity, Dune from Christian Dior, Flore by Carolina Herrera. And all of these babies come with oodles of coordinated accessories, from soaps to lotions and powders.
If you know Mom's favorite color, translate it into a cashmere--anything cashmere. If you don't (shame on you), you can seek refuge in the ever-popular world of Godiva chocolates, prettily packaged sin that will make her swoon with faux guilt.
Moms afflicted with the Franklin Mint collecting disease will be thrilled with the new ultra-nostalgic "Here's Looking at You, Kid" plate, which shows Bogey and Bergman making their legendary Casablanca farewell. This kitschy lily is gilded with a 24-karat gold border, and it even plays "As Time Goes By"--a lot of poignancy for a mere $55.
That Special Someone
You don't want to make any mistakes here, since your entire domestic fate could be sealed on the basis of savvy gift choices for your special sweetie. Lingerie? Absolutely! Head to Victoria's Secret for sensuous satin pajamas ($35), especially elegant in cool white. For guys, paisley silk boxer shorts ($28) will flatter his assets. Especially confident Santas could consider a pair of outrageously sexy patterned stockings and body suits from the Austrian house of Wolford ($28-$60). The Rolls Royce of hosiery, these babies fit like a slick of extra virgin olive oil. Or you could smugly snap up a pair of red fishnet pantyhose from Calvin Klein ($18). Less daring but in the same ballpark are the slinky rayon Italian socks (for men and women) by Giorgio Armani ($8-$16) in sophisticated earth tones.
Celebrate your romance with one of those gooey CDs made by Yanni, like his highly hyped Live at the Acropolis concert. Or something mystically Celtic by Enya or Clannad. If you're feeling flush, an overnight at an intimate little B&B. You could achieve some of the same effect by running over to Trader Joe's for a bottle of French bubbly and two champagne flutes (under $2 each). Attach a bow, and voila!
Special Interest Groups
Survivalists and Urban Guerrillas
Recipients in this category always crave some cutting-edge accessory to give a sense of danger to their freeway-bound existence. Perhaps the newest generation of Web navigator, like Netscape 2.2, would be nice, or an anti-static mouse pad emblazoned with a color reproduction of Edvard Munch's The Scream (available at your local museum store) so recipients can express their inner rage while still downloading football scores from AOL.
Radio Shack offers a nifty hand-held scanner for $199 that tunes in to all the fire, marine and weather disaster updates on citizen's band frequencies. For the vigilant, nothing could be more appropriate than Sharper Image's Radar Watchdog ($129.95), which guards home and hearth with digitized sounds of barking pooches. The truly paranoid will be tickled pink with the invisible infrared nighttime viewer from Night Spy ($445)--the very ones used by Israeli defense forces.
Perhaps the single most appropriate survival gift for the '90s is the new holiday video A Celebration of Christmas with Pope John Paul II, available from Hemdale Home Video (213/966-3754) for $19.95. This inspirational video includes the Holy Father personally telling the Nativity story, sharing his own Christmas memories and blessing the faithful in colorful international footage from around the world.
Aging Baby Boomers
How hard can this be? There's the new edition of the Rolling Stone Encyclopedia of Rock & Roll ($25), more than 1,000 pages of such trivia as the name of Little Richard's hairdresser, the bios of the original Supremes, and the titles of every one of the King's platinum records. On the Road With Charles Kuralt videos ($49.95 for three-cassette gift box) are good, so your special boomer can reminisce about the way America used to be. Your resident Trekkie can look up the difference between a level three diagnostic and a Cardasian virus in the 400-page Star Trek Encyclopedia ($28; call 800/699-9999).
To bring back those good ol' psychedelic memories, check out the New Age lava lamps that ooze pretty viscous colors when you flip them over or are shaped into kinetic dolphin sculptures (both $12 at the Nature Company). A video of Walt Disney's Snow White, or a personal cassette of Easy Rider. A gift basket of decaf coffees from Starbucks. A prescription for Retin-A. A membership to the Hairclub for Men.
Gardeners
Gardeners, like children, are easily pleased with items that can be hand-held and involve bright colors. For instance, imported spades and trowels--Smith and Hawken has some really terrific stainless steel implements made in England ($75 in wooden gift crate). Sunset's Western Garden ($41) book is now available in a CD-ROM version, for Mac or Windows, a terrific, regionally specific interactive guide to the proper cultivation of more than 6,000 plants.
Give your kitchen gardener a pretty topiary tree of rosemary or sage. Or British-made Wellington boots for foul weather digging. Spoil your gardener with a fabulous flowering orchid--a showy Cattleya, whose huge deep purple blooms are centered with brilliant yellow, will set you back around $30-$40.
Don't forget how adorable a little cactus looks planted in a glazed stoneware container, surrounded with smooth river rocks. Make up your own little desert tableau for under $20. Santas with dirty minds could give that earthiest item--a sack of chicken manure.
Spoiled Rotten
For those who have--or at least think they should have--the very top-of-the-line, exclusivo, best-of-everything stuff, we suggest the following. How about a long weekend (three nights) this winter seeing great theater in London's West End? Airfare, ground transportation, breakfasts, hotel, museum passes and theater tickets and more goodies packaged by Virgin Atlantic Airways for $649 per person (from New York). Call 1-800/862-8621 for details/reservations.
Think upscale--a Mont Blanc pen ($200) is mightier than any sword we know of. No one, least of all the very spoiled, should have to shower or swim without a telephone, which is why we suggest the Sony Cordless ($299.99), designed to resist dunking or steaming. Or think big: We think your finicky gift-giving target will succumb to the warm and snuggly luxury of a cloud-soft goose down comforter--king size for $449 at Eddie Bauer.
And it doesn't get much snobbier than a gift of 310 thread count cotton sheets (from Charisma, king size $100). Actually it does--at Neiman-Marcus we found silver-plated hand-held weights, for those pampered workouts. The set of two--five designer pounds each--is embossed with the Neiman-Marcus logo and will run Santa about $75. If money is no object, remember the basics: diamonds and pearls, silk and leather, silver and gold.
Aging Yuppies
If you can swing it, you can trade up that reliable old BMW for a new Jaguar XJ6 with modem port and car phone cleverly built into the leather and walnut burl interior. If you can't, you could still score with X-Files logo mugs and baseball cap set ($24, 800/669-9999), perfect for fans of Special Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Sculley. Your recipient in this category can never get too much caffeine, and for this the mighty Krups Espresso Novo ($150) is right on target. Personal techno-toys are always appreciated, like the 6-inch cubed stereo FM/AM clock radio/CD player from Magnavox ($189). Status symbols are highly appropriate gifts in this category, especially retro ones. So think, Gucci, Armani, Cartier, Villeroy & Bosch--anything with a designer label. Private language lessons--Urdu or Basque--would be appreciated. Remember, you're looking for anything that will massage that "been there, done that" mentality.
Outdoor Types
Okay, we'll refresh your memory: ski packages, lift tickets, whitewater rafting weekends, wetsuits, bicycle shorts, hiking boots, tennis balls, really good sunglasses, topographic maps, binoculars (preferably by Bushnell), 35 millimeter film, helicopter drops into the Grand Canyon, pack mules and guide through the Peruvian Andes. And we could go on.
Consider green fees for your recipient's favorite club--or you can simulate the golfing environment with one of those portable putting green units (around $50) for executive putting. If it's fishing that fires their rockets, make reservations at the 320 Guest Ranch in the Big Sky country of Montana. The movie A River Runs Through It was filmed on the Gallatin River, where the ranch's deluxe cabins (with stone fireplaces) look right out on prime trout fishing country (affordable doubles from $65, call 406/995-4283).
Kids
Since kids get the biggest kick out of the holidays, practically anything that comes gift-wrapped, with big colorful bows to rip and shred to pieces, will fire their little rockets. The way to many preteen's heart is simply Barbie, Barbie, Barbie. Think accessories. Barbie's got a pink Corvette, Barbie's got a red Mustang, Barbie's even got a remote control "rescue cruiser" inspired (to use the term loosely) by TV's Baywatch ($25). You can buy a DKNY designer leather ensemble for Barbie ($65) or a furry pet named Mitzi Meow ($10). Barbie can even be outfitted in an authentic hula costume ($50) available through the Hawaii Christmas Shop On-Line.
Those awesome Mighty Morphin Power Rangers continue to be coveted ($6 for must-have items like Ninja Ranger or Evil Space Alien). Active preschoolers can work out on the Junior Pro basketball set: hoop, net, backboard and pole for $20. Or they can "camp" out in one of the nifty, nylon pop-up Play Huts ($29.95-$59.95). In Dayglo hues, these little play bungalows have rounded corners and a zippered mesh "front door."
For inquiring kids, there's Beakman's World Bacteria Farm ($12.95)--a safe but smelly kit that includes petri dishes and fascinating instructions. GeoSafari offers a terrific Electronic Learning Game ($100), with flashing lights, keyboard and 20 computerized lesson/games on topics from wild animals to plants and geography. You can still play Santa the old-fashioned way, with fun-for-the-whole-family board games: Monopoly (still the champ), Risk, Clue, Sorry, Scrabble and Pictionary.
Gourmets and Wine Buffs
If your foodie doesn't already have a subscription to the reigning food magazines, you can check out recipes, columns and subscription order forms for both Gourmet and Bon Appetit magazine at Web site http://www.epicurious.com. For a year's worth of the super glossy new Saveur, call 800/234-5118.
The kitchen is always a giant gift opportunity. Sure, your home chef owns a Cuisinart. But does he/she own a Cuisinart Mini Mate ($35)? The tiny powerhouse perfect for whipping up gourmet stuff in small batches.
Impress a gourmand with an entire wheel of aged cheese--we like the nifty 4.5-pound Dorset Drum of farm house English cheddar ($45 at Oakville Grocery). Go wild gathering gourmet condiments: fire-roasted salsa from Coyote Cocina, herb vinegars, locally pressed olive oils, Scottish shortbread, wild rice, dried cranberries, Droste Dutch cocoa, or a jar of Mad River Farm pumpkin butter from the wilds of Arcata ($8.50).
And for the wine connoisseur, Syrah is big. Merlot is even bigger. Almost any 1991 red wine made in California will be highly drinkable right about now. The 1993 Zinfandel from Gundlach Bundschu is well worth considering, as is the 1993 Cigare Volant from Bonny Doon Vineyards. If all else fails, look for any French Rhône from the estate of E. Guigal. Your beneficiary will be blown away.
Bookies
One of the very top categories--as well as last resorts--for the holidays--you just can't fail here. Diehard readers will appreciate the tiny reading light from Mighty Bright ($8.95) that clips right onto your book, for non-intrusive midnight bookworming.
Armchair travelers will get pretty worked up about the Eyewitness Travel Guide series: Our personal favorite is the 320 pages filled with 1,500 color photographs on Florence & Tuscany. But then the one devoted to Provence & the Côte d'Azur ain't bad either.
For the Francophile cook, it doesn't get much better than Olivia Callen's Burgundy Gastronomique ($25) filled with rich photographs and even richer recipes from the region that gave us French Burgundy wine. On the lighter side, there's Marlena Spieler's The Flavor of California: Fresh Vegetarian Cuisine. ($25)--the name says it all.
From the fine British publishers Ltd. come innovative books featuring breathtaking illustrations on topics ranging from geology and architecture, to cathedrals and sailing ships. The Visual Dictionary of Prehistoric Life is Dorling Kindersley Ltd's irresistible recreation of life before the computer. Young people will love it.
CD-ROMs have emerged as interactive ways of staying in touch with the printed word. Webster's Collegiate Dictionary is available (Mac or PC) for $45 in electronic form. And from the Eyewitness educational series, check out the multimedia Encyclopedia of Nature--$50 for more than 50 video sequences.
Fans of American letters might be pleased with the new biography by Lyle Leverich, Tom: The Unknown Tennessee Williams ($35). Or take a walk on the cheaper side and thrill your gossip monger with Marcia Clark: Her Private Trials and Public Triumphs, a photo-filled paperback by Clifford Linedecker.
Romantics and Art Lovers
The Santa Cruz Museum Shop (705 Front. St.,SC, 454-9986) is a gold mine of aesthetically pleasing gift items, including contempoary, one-of-a-kind art jewelry. For under $20, the new 1996 calendars offer 12 months of artwork from favorite painters and photographers--some of the best show off the work of Ansel Adams, Georgia O'Keeffe, Richard Diebenkorn, Frida Kahlo, Frank Lloyd Wright and Claude Monet. Also available are hyper-creative games, puzzles and books to thrill the art fancier.
Romantics adore art films--a gift certificate good for a dozen screenings plus popcorn at the Nickelodeon is perfect. Antique stores are often the mother lode for romantics on your shopping list--the odd piece of old silver, a set of tiny crystal goblets to be joined by a bottle of aged port, Bakelite bracelet or earrings, a pretty porcelain platter from Limoges, a vintage bowling shirt. The more unusual and impractical, the better.
Cyberheads
You know the ones--they had a Global Village Teleport Platinum modem before anybody else. They've been on the Net for years. Well, you can still push their electronic buttons with a special cyber gift. We like the new QuickCam that grabs images or records live ones for instant replay and manipulation on a Mac. Smaller than a baseball, this easy-access unit comes with its own built-in microphone for $99.95. Busy hackers will love your thoughtful gift of a telephone headset from Plantronics. For $69.99, this lightweight baby lets you handle calls while keepings the hands free for nonstop keyboard use. Another hot ticket this holiday season is the very powerful RAM doubler and speed doubler bundle ($89.95) that makes your computer think that it's smarter and faster than it really is.
Retro hackers will treasure a copy of William Gibson's proto-cyber novel, Neuromancer, the book that coined the term "cyberspace." Game-playing nerds will like the Dark Forces Star Wars game from LucasArts Entertainment ($44.95), filled with 3-D graphics and a death-defying scenario.
The Eco-Politically Correct
For those devoted to green living, Conservation International (202/429-5660) offers a bevy of "Friends of the Forest" sponsorship kits ($20 at Nature Company). Nature Company is also one of many stores selling products benefiting developing areas, such as beautiful electroplated gold leaves from the Guatemalan rainforest ($5). Give the gift of tropical rainforest houseplant seeds ($5), also at Nature Company.
Consider recycled paper stationery, a non-polluting bicycle, a goat for making guilt-free chevre. Cranberries and popcorn for stringing into homemade holiday decorations. Menorahs made from reclaimed materials. Nature lovers will just naturally love this year's top desk calendar ($15)--it's the set of wilderness photographs by lensmeister Kennan Ward, with the adorable polar bear on the front cover.
Yoga classes, a shiatsu session, even an evening at your favorite hot tub spa, followed by a massage, make pampering presents for the non-materialist on your list.
We've done all we can. Now it's up to you. Shop defensively--it's a jungle out there. Happy hunting--and happy holidays.
This page was designed and created by the Boulevards team.
Copyright © 1995 Metro Publishing and Virtual Valley, Inc.