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Nuz

Information, Pretty Please

Winter storms arrived this week with the fury of a spurned, gab-happy citizen at a city council meeting. Road conditions made driving nearly impossible, and record-breaking electrical outages deprived residents of such lifelines as email, Netscape, Oprah and coffee. What's an easily bored, attention-deficit-disordered Santa Cruzan to do?

Thank God the phones still work. Unfortunately, you've worked through your friends--all both of them--and the day is young. Nuz suggests the phone book.

Most only grab this hefty tome to look up a phone number, never slowing to savor the wealth of information tucked in the front. Maps, theater seating guides, regional events listed by month, even where to get farm-fresh produce--it's all there at your fingertips.

Right before the darkly foreboding government section is the good stuff: the red-trimmed, gaily hued pages called Local Talk.

Like your own personal guru, it dispenses guidance on life's most vexing problems. Dial a number, then punch in a four-digit code indicating your interest.

Nuz was drawn to "Breast Lifts (#5041)," "Liposuction of the Buttocks (#5096)" and "Droopy Lids (#5014)." Next, a nod to mental health and that pesky "Nervous Breakdown (#3231)." We almost punched in #3228--"Paranoia"--before remembering that the lines were tapped.

Exhausted and ready for a nap, we moved to the legal guide, zooming in on #2508--"Can Juvenile Records Be Erased?"--before deciding to call it a day with #3390: "Fighting Boredom."

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Call Nuz at 457-9000.


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