You can always tell a natural leader by the first introduction. After braving the downtown mid-week mayhem, I speed-walked my way into Roxa lounge just in time to meet Christopher Montenegro. I was excited to chat about his new eight-week program, “Forging the Path to Sacred Masculinity”.
Five minutes later, after guiding me through several grounding breaths, Christopher explained that for him the role of leader started early. Growing up as the oldest son in a family of 10 with no dad onsite, he embraced the role of father figure early on. He carried them into adulthood through his work as an electrician, where he quickly rose the ranks to a management role.
A few years were all it took to recognize that many of his employees, all men, were lacking the resources to uphold healthy boundaries or manage negative emotions. Angry outbursts and poor communication were the norm as workers seemed to fall into roles from aggressor to avoider. Committed as he was to mentoring his workers, at some point it didn’t feel like enough.
Eventually in search of greater alignment with his values, this former foreman relocated from San Mateo to Santa Cruz, where a friend steered him toward a five-day Sacred Sons leadership immersion program Christopher says changed his life.
Sacred Sons is a worldwide organization dedicated to teaching men to lead with healthy, honest and embodied strength. Participants learn a variety of healthy tools and resources for confronting challenges and deepening connection in all areas of their lives.
For Montenegro the experience unleashed a slew of emotions held so far out of consciousness he had failed to see the way his choices were impacting his life and the lives of his two teenage daughters. He saw how the lack of alignment in his own relationships was creating an obstacle to living fully and authentically. This stark realization was enough to prompt him to leave a secure job with steady pay and embark on a journey to share these teachings with others.
Far from a new concept, men’s groups typically serve as supportive spaces where men gather to explore various aspects of masculinity, personal growth, and connection. These groups often provide a safe and confidential environment for men to share their experiences, challenges, and wins without judgment. Discussions in men’s groups may cover a wide range of topics, including relationships, work, family dynamics, emotional well-being, and societal expectations.
While typical formats include group discussions and sharing circles, the overarching goal of men’s groups is to promote self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and authentic expression while offering mutual support and camaraderie among members.
Sacred Sons evolves this concept into embodied action. Unlike traditional gatherings where conversation dominates, this leadership training incorporates diverse practices that delve into the realms of spirituality, brotherhood, and embodied experiences.
The eight-week workshop Christopher leads in Capitola uses this framework to foster a deep sense of brotherhood among participants. Forging the Path to Sacred Masculinity draws inspiration from multiple traditions and wisdom teachings. Through ceremonies, rituals, and explorations of masculine archetypes, participants engage in profound reflections on purpose, identity, and connection to something greater than themselves.
The observation that men often fall into two categories, nice guys or tyrants rings true. We all know guys like this, one always finishes last and the other shoves his way to the front of the line. One ends up feeling like a doormat, afraid to stand up for himself, while the other plows through life, leaving anyone in his wake behind. Both paths stem from a place of imbalance, ultimately ending in shame, guilt or disconnection.
Forging the Path uses practices like breathwork, movement and meditation to shine a light on the hidden defense mechanisms holding unhealthy patterns in place. Using methods drawn from trauma release therapies, this work empowers individuals to process subconscious memories in a safe, supportive environment. From there they’re able to recognize and begin to let go of the pain they may not even know they were carrying.
By learning to build authentic connections and camaraderie, maybe for the first time in their adult lives, the program encourages men to support each other on their journeys of growth and self-discovery. Weekly 90-sessions are held in the evenings, and participants range in age from twenty to fifty-something, spanning all backgrounds and levels of fitness.
Christopher sees this work as his life’s calling. He says the role of the masculine needs some serious rework, especially today. With the art of respectful dialogue all but lost, learning healthy ways to express anger and to be vulnerable are a good place to begin. And this holistic modality may be the right path to get you there. Learn more at www.breathandoneness.com
